


words are only worth their meaning

by skeedoodle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:17:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5809855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeedoodle/pseuds/skeedoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Words usually associated with Levi Ackerman are usually: short, angry, and clean freak. Armin Arlert isn't associated with those words, but can relate to his shortness, not being too tall himself. Certainly they've seen each other around, gotten to know each other a little bit at least. Who knows if they've fell for each other [it wouldn't have been that far of a fall, I'm sure].</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. only fools rush in

Levi glances at the blonde sleeping soundly next to him, unable to sleep. There was something keeping him awake, picking at him. The male looked so peaceful. This aroused confusion in his small stature. 

        How did everything come so seemingly easy for the ex-cadet? It made no sense, how he just accepted every obstacle that came his way. Levi could too, but Armin did with a smile, and visible passion.

        He studied his soon-to-be closely, as if to make sure he's still alive. As he lightly touched his cheek, he counted the years. Ten, eleven, twelve. . . Thirteenth whole years of the titans being gone. Thirteenth years since he confessed his love to him.

        Levi barely remembered what he had said to the blonde to win his heart; something about his hair, eyes, personality, and intelligence. He managed to write it down, and was going to use it as wedding vows when they got married. He has it memorized by now, counting down the days. He edited it to fit the moment, and the more he counted the days, the more impatient he got.

        As he lightly traced the outline of Armin's lip with his thumb, he wondered on what made the blonde fall for him. He never really gave a straight answer, but he always reassured that it was "all his fault". He never understood, but over time, it was starting to make sense.

        The blonde smiles, leaning into the his arms, mumbling, "Go to bed!" A small smile makes it way onto Levi's face as the blonde pulls him close, wrapping his arms around his petite waist. 

        "I will," he says, kissing his forehead, wrapping his arms around Armin's shoulders. He closes his eyes, listening to the calming breathing of the male he was holding. He couldn't help it. He knew he couldn't. He was going on fourty-two and he was just finding out what love is.

        He blames the blonde for making him feel the way he does. His eyes snapped open. A stupid grin made it's way onto his face, and he understood. He couldn't help it. Not only was he falling into an endless spiral called love, but the blonde was coaxing him down. And he was doing the same for Armin.

        But, he couldn't help it. He had fallen for the blonde, and there was no way up.

_This might be fruitless when its all said and done, but, Armin Arlert, I love you. I love your shy demeanour, your blonde hair, and they way your eyes sparkle like the ocean that you were so excited to see [seriously; I can't forget your reaction to seeing the ocean—you were so happy you CRIED. How does that work?]. I love the way you try to explain things to Eren even though I'm pretty sure he's not listening. I love the way you giggle at my shitty jokes, even though you hate when I point it out. I love the way your book smarts contradicts my street smarts, and how you tease my height. But most importantly, I love you. And I would love if you said "I do"._


	2. devoided colors

It began as a normal day for Armin Arlert. He got up, took a shower, got into his work uniform, made a cup of tea, and left for work. He worked at cute cafe on the corner of Central and Union that goes by the name of "Easy As Pie".   
        He loves it there. He loved taking orders. Talking to costumers. Writing down their names on their cups. Joking with his co-workers. You name it. He was always happy to come to work, even if it was a last minute call.   
        Though he was always happy, something picked at the back of his mind. He saw the world in black and white. It's said that everyone did, until they saw their soul mate, but Armin didn't know what to believe.   
        His grandfather told stories about how dull the world was until he met his grandmother, but never mentioned anything about seeing the world in black and white.   
        Even still, he had dated a few people in his life, though it was only middle school love. He ached to see color, especially the color blue. It was just the way it sounded that peaked his interest.   
        He took orders, trying to not think about it as much today, to the point of over thinking it. He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing, "Can you repeat that please?" He asks, his eyes meeting the stranger's. Something strange happened.  
        He saw what he was dying to see. Colors surrounded him—reds, blues, greens. His opened, holding back a gasp, stepping back. He falls to on his ass, eyes wide, staring at the stranger, who growls, walking behind the counter to help him up.   
        "I said, 'Rivalle'. R-I-V-A-L-L-E." He repeats with a seemingly permanent scowl. Though he thought everyone looked better with a smile, he wasn't going to deny the man of his charm. He nods, scampering to his feet, scribbling it down on a cup, taking his order.   
        As he hands over Rivalle's order over, he whispers, "Do you see it?" His voice was low, leaning over the counter. The shorter male raises an eyebrow, but doesn't question it.   
        Instead, he asks, "When does your shift end?"   
        Hours later, and he closes up shop, Rivalle coming out of an alleyway, greeting the blonde, almost scaring him half to death. They walk, no where in particular, chatting about pointless debatable topics, and just getting to know each other. They stop on a bridge, looking off.  
        "Do you see it now?" He asks, bringing back the topic from earlier.  
        "You mean what people call 'color'?" He gets a quick nod, and Rivalle chuckles. "Yeah... And you?"   
        Armin nods. "Yes." He pauses briefly, before his eyes brighten. "Do you know how happy I was to see my eye color? And everyone else's? And just color in general?" He shakes his head, chuckling, his hair moving out of place.   
        "I guess by your tone you were ecstatic." The short male states, leaning against the bridge. Armin shakes his head, smiling widely.  
        "I couldn't stop talking about you. Here I am, chatting crazily about a guy I barely know. All because he allowed me to see color," he shakes his head.   
        "I couldn't blame you. I'm quite attractive." He smirks, flashing his teeth, and they share a laugh. The blonde turns to him some.  
        "Whoa, don't get all egotistical on me now! That would ruin everything!" They lean closer together, their smiles not fading.   
        "Would it?" The short male questions, barely above a whisper, their lips so close. Armin's face heats up as he puts his hand on the ravenette male's shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut. It felt natural. Like it was meant to happen. He felt what people described as "fireworks", and he pulls away.   
        Rivalle opens his eyes, a knowing smirk on his face. "I'm really glad I can see color now," he says, smoothly. "Your red face isn't to be missed." Armin stutters a response before covering his face. He grumbles before softly punching the ravenette's arm. 

**—BONUS—**

Armin practically shook with excitement. Today, June 6th, 2006, marks their sixth anniversary. The blonde had planned a bunch of activities, ending with him proposing. Over the six years they knew each other, he had fallen harshly for the short ravenette.   
        Mid-order, while he was writing down his name, it _happened_. He dropped the drink in shock, stumbling backwards.   
        It was _gone_. **Gone**. Every color drained from his sight, leaving the world black and white again, and he remembered what his boyfriend said. 

>          _"Y'know, I looked up this 'colorblind' issue. Apparently it's supposed to happen, and it goes away when 'you find your soul mate'."_ Armin remembers how his face felt after Rivalle said this, bringing tears to his eyes. _"It can only 'go away' if one of us dies."_  
>  _"Don't you die on me, then!" He jokes with a laugh. Rivalle leaned over him, skimming the book he was currently reading._  
>  _"As long as you promise not to die on me either..."_

        Could it be? No... He shook his head, running out back, getting his phone in the process. He quickly dialed the work number for the place his boyfriend worked at.   
        "Hello, this is Hanji Zoe, how may I help you?" Their usually happy tone was replaced by a drone, which only brought more panic to him.   
        "Um, this is Armin Arlert. Can you put Rivalle Ackerman on the phone?" There was a short pause, and he was sure he heard a whimper or sniffle from them.  
_"Sorry, Armin. We can't do that... Not anymore..."_


	3. this pain is different from others i've felt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains mentions of death and abuse if you read between the lines, so approach with caution!

_**Two months.** Three weeks. Six days. Thirty minutes. Sixteen seconds. Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen... _  
        Levi Ackerman crumpled a lit cigarette in his hand, glaring off into space, as if it hurt him. His blonde companion next to him winced, counting that it was the fifth time Levi did that. His burns stood out on his pale skin, and the raven came reluctantly back to Earth, his gaze flicking to Armin. It took someone like the blonde to seen that he was on the brink of crying.   
        "You're grieving." Armin reminded him, tucking some of his blonde hair behind his ear, though it pointless in the wind. Rain clouds rolled overoverhead, and Levi wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be dressed in black, at his father's wake, preparing for his speech tomorrow. He bit the side of his cheek, not wanting to yell at Armin. He couldn't even give the shitty "You don't know what I'm going through!" excuse, because he knows that his blonde companion has gone through the pain when his grandfather passed. In fact, they were in the same spots they were now, but they weren't here in the unholy hours of the morning.   
        "But why?" His voice came out raspy, and he felt like an annoying child who asked too many questions. "He spent all his time making my life a living hell. Why do I care? He hurt my mom, me, and I bet he payed the bastards at the hospital to pull the pugs on my mother and sister." Levi gave up, and there was a silence. An angry one. It was tense, and if this was a cartoon, Levi would have smoke coming off of him.   
        Suddenly, Armin reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone. This only angered the ravenette more, so the blonde tried to be quick, scrolling through his notes. He took a deep breathe before reading from his notepad app, " _It has to due with being a child. Kinda like imprinting; I think that reaches your  level of intelligence if you can't already understand me._ " Levi heard these words before, and got defensive.   
        "Armin, what the hell are you reading?" His companion glanced up from the phone, and the intense look in his azure eyes made Levi partially scared.   
        "When you turned fifteen, you went to the beach with Lani and shared a beer, am I correct? It was about six months prior to her getting sick?" Levi nodded to he would continue. "When you got home, you texted me this paragraph. I saved because I knew you'd need it one day." The ravenette raised an eyebrow, before looking off. Armin was known for surprising Levi with being an actual friend, even if they splits apart for three years.   
        "Can you continue reading?" The ravenette's voice came out small, because he was reluctant to hear his own words said aloud. No matter if they needed to be released into the open at one point or another. His words scared him, as well as his thoughts. They were mean, loud, and he couldn't escape them or drown them out.   
        Armin nodded, his reaching out his hand and rubbing smaller male's knee. It soothes him more than a shoulder rub, but he doesn't like being touched at shoulders. " _It doesn't matter how many times he's laid his hands on me and reduced me to a crying heap on the floor, I still looked up to him. I want that fatherly respect._ " The paragraph goes on to say how he favored Lani, and how that upset him because she didn't try to impress him. Her _breathing_ was sufficient enough for Mark.   
        There was an uncomfortable silence to follow after the drunkenly written paragraph, where Levi took in the truth. Even now, it seemed to choke him like a noose around his neck.   
        Armin stood, walking over to his bike and picked it up. "I think you should go to the funeral, if the wake is done by now. You don't know what proper closure is. Call me if you have trouble writing again." It didn't surprise the ravenette that he wrote better near the blonde; he was the reason he was still alive right now. There was so much to say—so many ideas waiting to be spilled on paper in the form of a speech—that he couldn't fathom the thought of it being a speech at all.   
        Levi only nodded, watching the blonde go, before rushing inside to scribble down a speech.   
        He actually decided to show up to the funeral, and when it came time to say something about his father, no a sound could be heard. This man had hurt them all in some way, so it was more or less a relief that he finally departed. When everyone was about to leave, the silence unbearable, he did the weirdest thing. He stood up, grabbed everyone's attention, and talked about his father. About how his mental state started to deteriorate faster after Lani died. About how he was going to miss his weird, drunk advice that he'd never use but someday share to others. He didn't go too much into, knowing he would blame himself if he did.  
        But, Levi took a deep breathe and concluded with a thank you. To his father. When he was younger, after his father passed out from drinking too much and hurting him, he cried and thanked his father. Because he knew, without completely understanding, that his father was hurting. And he'd rather be hurt than his father hurt. He wasn't going to stop now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i believe that i got it wrong. that you say the words at the wake and not the funeral. i've never been to a funeral [and i'd prefer it that way] so i don't really have a clue what goes on. i only put that in because i wrote some of the ending already and thought it made a great ending.


	4. stupid feelings [hunger games au]

Without meaning to, Levi stared across the hideout, at the sleeping blonde. He sharpens his knife, and every few strokes he wipes off the dagger. The little bit of moonlight showing through the crevices of the top reflected off, and the ravenette could see his eyes. Dull grey eyes bored into his soul, and they didn't feel like his own.   
        The urge to throw the knife across the hideout of huge leaves and branches was heavy, but the risk of hitting Armin was too much. He often thought about what a short girl has told him:  _"People who are as pushed over as Armin is... Are as dangerous to themselves as the people around them."_  It didn't make much sense why she said that, or how home could possibly know about him ever being "pushed over".   
        Levi stood up, agreeing with this short female mentally. Armin could set him back, and he needed to return to his house as least damaged as possible. His mother and sister got sick frequently, and he was the only one who wasn't bedridden to help them. He didn't get nearly as sick as they did, which was good because he could go out and grab remedies before they woke up. That, and dinner.   
        He made his way over, dagger pointed towards the blonde, and he knelt down for better aim. He raised the blade, moving it to wear the back of the blade was against his thumb. He had better grip on the handle this way. Levi brought it down to Armin's neck, hovering, briefly closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he scanned the other's face. He didn't mean to, but he moved some of the blonde hair out of Armin's face.  _It's so soft..._  He snatched his hand back, his eyebrows furrowing.   
        The ravenette stared at his hand, as if he ruined the blonde's hair permanently or something. It boggled his mind why it was suddenly so hard to drag the blade across this certain blonde's neck. In the midst of his confusion, blue eyes snapped open, and stared just as confused as Levi was. When the ravenette saw this, he cursed under his breathe and covered the blonde's mouth before he could say something.   
        "Shut up." He stated, feeling as if he was standing in a volcano. "Just... Keep your damn mouth shut for once." Slowly, the shorter male removed his hand. Armin's eyebrows were furrowed, his face twisting into anger. He sighed, knowing the blonde wouldn't "keep his mouth shut".   
        "I trusted you!" Levi's eyes widened and eyebrows raised at this statement. "You were going go kill me, weren't you?"   
        "If I say yes, will you keep it down so someone _else_ doesn't get us _both_?" The ravenette growled, though he wasn't mad at the blonde, and he wouldn't have been quieter if it were vise versa. He was angry at himself and his damn feelings. He pulled his knees up to his chest, putting his head down on his knees. In Levi's head, he repeatedly told himself that he didn't come for hear to feel this, but to win the games so he could go home. He wouldn't be much use for his family dead.   
        "Are you okay?" The blonde asks, after a moment of silence, as if he almost didn't die before.   
        "Shitty question." He mumbles, shaking his head. He lifts his head up, seeing the sunrise in the distance, followed by a horn. Someone had died before the sunrise. "I... I think..." He stopped himself, standing up. Armin gives him a questioning look, mimicking the short male.   
        "I think we should find a lake or something, you smell like horse shit." He made a hand movement for the blonde to follow, slightly amused by what he said. Levi was one to deny all feelings until it was too late for him and the other person. He wasn't the best man to call in a life-or-death situation [then again, if you're calling Levi for help, it's the equivalent to a death sentence].   
        "To be fair, you don't smell like flowers either." Armin mumbles, walking after him.  _He isn't that bad,_ Levi thought, a barely visible smile on his face. 


End file.
